Our Baby Boy's Birth Story pt 2
Part 2 continued…
Once hubby got back in the room and we told him the news we moved down to L & D as my contractions were then about 3 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds to 1 minute. My hubby called our doula to come and stated making our delivery room look & feel as homey as possible. We had my hypnobirthing music & tracks/affirmations playing, only salt lamps/electric candles for light and I rubbed lavender oil under my nose. I would sway, open throat groan and squat/bend over (with support of my hubby) whenever I would feel a contraction come but honestly felt like they were WAY less intense than I thought they would be.
Once my doula got to the hospital she asked if I wanted her to get the tub ready (I always wanted water to be a BIG part of my birth and to try and give birth in one if possible). I told her I literally did not care, cause at that moment I was sooo in the zone and did not care about anything! I was just moaning, swaying and loving up on my hubby (lots of kisses, snuggles, and hugs) and that seemed like all I needed. BUT she knew my wishes so she prepared it anyway and as soon as she did I felt it calling to me.
I sank in to the tub and instantly felt like it was exactly where I was meant to be.
Then things got intense and quickly…I still did not feel like I was in pain at all BUT I could no longer talk with contractions I needed to focus and go fully with in. My hubby did say in between contractions at this point I was still cracking jokes though…this is something I do not remember but also sounds about right for me. And after being in the tub for about 30-45 minutes I told the doula I really felt like I needed to push…LIKE I HADDD TO PUSH! So told me to trust that instinct to which I did and she got the nurse to contact the midwife.
The midwife arrived within 20 minutes of being contacted and although I still did not want to be checked she agreed that this was it (PS have I said how much I loved my midwife, she really just got me to trust myself instead of interfering, and only stepped in when truly needed). Because of the cervidil, the hypertension and morphine we agreed that a wireless monitor being put on baby at this point was a good idea….From this we learned that baby’s heart beat was a little all over the place as with each contraction his heart beat would get weak for a moment. BUT everything was still in the safe zone. After about 25 minutes of pushing with the midwife in the tub she said she thought maybe I should get out as he seemed to not be moving down and she thought a position change might help. BUT let me tell you getting out and trying to make my way to a new position THAT was painful. It seemed like the water took away everything but then as soon as I got out it hit. It also all of a sudden felt like a bowling ball was between my legs lol. I finally made it over to the bed and leaned over (this is when it went back to just being intense and not painful again) I gave one big push to which the midwife was like “YES this is it” apparently she could tell he was moving down instead of just crowning like before. I gave a second big push and literally he just fully shot out (no head first then body etc, just all at once)!
This is when things got real….And a bit scary…So trigger warning BUT it all turned out fine!!!
You know that moment when they come out and you get that first cry…Well we had silence. It was (and still is) all a blur. He came out and before we even knew he was a he, he was whisked away to a table off in the corner of the room, we were told he wasn’t breathing and “he just needed a little help”. I could barely see him over all the people that surrounded him. My midwife was trying to assure me that he was fine and just again “just needed a little help”. But all I remember was looking over, tears in my eyes, not seeing him moving, the paediatric team coming in and them doing all the things to help him to breathe. They kept telling me to “talk to my baby” but it was like I was frozen, I just could nothing but stare. I felt like something had been ripped from my body and soul, and I was helpless. Finally after a few minutes he started to move and make small noises (no crying) and they asked my husband to come over, this is when we found out he was a he and my husband got to cut what was left of his cord (they cut it as soon as he came out as he had to go across the room but made sure to leave some for my hubby to cut). After about 20 minutes of him “being stable” he let out his first cry and I could not have been happier and they finally took him over to me and placed him on my chest. It was then explained to me that becasue he came out sooo quick (remember in One push!!!) we still had all the liquid in his lungs (normally it gets pushed slowly out when they are slowly going through the birth canal) and so he (again) “just needed a little help” but that everything was fine now, his oxygen levels were normal, and he was a healthy, bu small, little boy!
From there I got my "“golden hour” I lay in the bed with him on my chest eating the peanut butter I ordered my husband to get me as soon as our little boy was safe in my arms. Also literally peanut butter and toast has NEVER tasted soooo damn goood to me as it did in that moment! During this time my midwife & doula both said to me in a few weeks I will be “wishing for him to not cry” and I remember looking into his little face (did I mention he was born at only 6 lbs 4 oz so he was tiny!) and thinking I could never feel that way. He was perfect. He was here and he was perfect and he was all mine! Or OUR’S as my husband reminded me daily for the first bit (lol).
After a short stay in the hospital (we thought becasue of the hypertension we would be in for the long haul/a few days) we were discharged as both mom & baby boy were doing just fine! What happened next was a blurr of days, into nights, into weeks, into months as well all adjusted to what life was to look like from now on. All too often during that time I would look at my little man and think about not only how lucky I was to have him, BUT also about how it felt like there was no life before him. I felt complete. I felt as if a piece of me I did not know was missing was made whole. I felt more in love than I ever thought I could be (both with my little man but also with my hubby). I truly did not know that my heart could expand, stretch and love even more than it already had, but I was wrong. AND despite all the challenges postpartum had (becasue we sure had our fair share but that might be a WHOLE other blog post) I was still so amazed by it all, so in love, and pumped everyday for waking up and getting to share it all over again with him.
Something I want to mention before ending this post is that there is such negativity around inductions.YES intervention’s during birth can lead to more interventions, BUT they do not have to. So much of how your birth turns out (within reason of things going well medically) depends on your mindset and your care providers. It is why it is so important to share POSITIVE birth stories with other women (even if they do involve interventions becasue YOU CAN STILL have a positive birth story with medical interventions), and learn that there is a time and place for talking about traumatic ones (meaning maybe not with someone looking to conceive or who is pregnant), becasue these stories help shape our mindset and expectations around what birth is & can be. This is also why it is so important to ask your care provider all the questions about how they handle birth, and what their normal is for labour and delivery. Some (even midwifes) are very pro-intervention even for basic things that do not necessarily need intervention. So if there are certain things that are important to you it is not only important to ASK these questions but also to KNOW where they stand & where you stand, because guess what…YOU CAN ask/find another care provider at anytime that will work with you in a way that you want!
Looking back do I wish I could have gone into labour completely naturally, why yes! BUT I would not change what happened. I had a magical experience, filled with so much respect from my care providers, and so much love! It brought me my little boy and for that I will forever be grateful for. It also allowed me to push past boundaries I did not know I had, face a huge challenge with a positive mindset that made me grow so much more as not only a person but also a mother. And truly show others (as well as myself) that you truly can have a beautiful birth no matter how you do it!
